Wednesday Thoughts

"If you feel that you are not strong enough to let your creative voice become heard, start with a whisper Your voice will come." unknown 

   I know I posted of my return and then went quiet... again. It was only for a few days this time. I am still figuring out where to take Living Life from here. What do I want to do in this space.  Shortly after writing about taking a break from Facebook, I sat and read back through ten years of my own writings. Reading through the years, I discovered the post when I found my voice... when I became a little more confident with MY words instead of trying to imitate or impress others. While reading your comments (some made me teary... such kind words)  I remembered how much I truly enjoyed writing and connecting here. 

So... let's see what happens!  I will continue with my disclaimers, and I'm almost always unedited, there will be mistakes... no judging. I hope you will stop by and leave a comment. (One day I may figure out how to reply individually.) Please let me know your thoughts.

 Hello... are you still there?

I'll be back soon to share some of my favorite books from the past several months. Oh my, what Covid has done to my reading life!  

Find something that makes your heart smile! 

Hugs!

 

 

Taking Risk

Most young children are risk takers. There is little, if any fear of being made fun of. Why would there be, children see themselves as stars.  Some might call this arrogance; I believe it is innocence. It doesn't last long. Somewhere around eight or nine, cliques and groups begin to form. It only takes one person to zero in and share a weak spot.  Suddenly all the confidence once held secure disappears. The innocence is gone. It is easier and safer to blend in, to be one of the crowd. 

I know the exact moment this happened to me. It is history, and though I have long let the incident go, I keep a tight fist around the fear of failing. A little less than ten years ago I signed on here, wrote a little blurb and after a few days, probably weeks I hit publish.   I shared this step toward conquering my fears with a sweet few. If I did share, I would sort of whisper it, in hopes no one would know what I was talking about. I didn't believe anyone would want to read anything I wrote; if they did, they for sure wouldn't take me serious.

This trip has never been about gaining a following, although I do appreciate each and everyone who visits, reads and stays. It was and is about stepping away from my safe place, facing a fear, taking a chance and finding my voice. And friends, you have allowed and encouraged me to try on many voices.

I guess, I might as well stop here and tell you, I have, once again, taken a deep breath and jumped.   Several months ago I was looking through our neighborhood magazine when I came upon an ad asking for writers, no experience necessary.  I folded the page down and put it away. Weeks later I found it, turned to the dog-eared page and stared at it. At dinner I told my husband about the ad and ask his thoughts.  I went through all my ifs and buts, the biggest being my lack of qualifications. He didn't hesitate to encourage me to submit something. Once again, I set it aside to ponder.

A few weeks ago, going through the mail I happened upon the January edition of the magazine. Flipping through, reading about new neighbors, family pets, well-kept yards and child athletes, I happened, once again, upon the ad asking for writers. This time I folded back the page and placed it by my computer.

A couple of weeks ago, after publishing my last post here, I wrote a letter to the contact person stating I would like to write about books, if this fit into their vision. I stated all the disclaimers I post here... I  am not a writer,  but I have a passion for reading and love sharing this passion. I wrote about my blog writing and my book talk on Instagram.  The letter was pitiful...no exaggeration.

I sent it!  If I could have retrieved it I would have, but it was gone.  I slowed the rising panic by assuring myself the letter would be read and quickly discarded.   The next Monday morning I checked my email and there waiting to be opened was a response saying my letter had been forwarded to the editor.

My blood pressure might have gone up a little.  Soon I had a very nice response from the editor saying they would like for me to write book reviews and perhaps help with other stories; would I like to write a book review for the March issue.  I said yes... what was I thinking?

My first review is finished.  It is due at the end of this week, but I will send it out tonight. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a bit nervous. I am not a brave person.  I am much more sensitive than I want to admit.  
This is not a whisper.

(I know this has been long. Sorry, I am a southerner; I can't say anything in 30 words or less.)

I am sharing this adventure with you, because I hope, if there is something you are wanting to do... please,  just take a deep breath, close your eyes and fly.  Yes, we may fall, but we will know we tried.  That alone is success, don't you think?

Hugs!

Weekend Meanderings

Happy New Year!

I'm not going to apologize this year for being late with my New Year wishes.   You should know by now this is just how I roll.  I do hope you are having a good January, reading some really good books,  and  looking forward to something fabulous in the coming months. 

I don't know about you, but I am looking forward to and confident of good things happening this year.  I'm not one to make New Year's resolutions.  I feel like it is a set-up to fail.   Usually I just plow through the year taking it a moment at a time.  This year, I feel I need to place my focus somewhere.  With this in mind,  I decided to follow so many who select a "word" for the year.

Things happened in 2018.   
Some doors closed, and as of now, the windows remain shuttered. 
Though I have long known we do not live in a fair, kind or gentle world, this fact came to visit early in the year, and pretty much decided to hang around for awhile.  I use the word "visit", because a visit will at some point end.   No worries, all and everyone is well... life is just being life.  Sometimes you just have to stop, step back, breathe and adjust.   As a person of faith, I do believe things happen for a reason and God has a plan.

I've thought about my word selection a lot.  I want share, inspire and heal.

 The word I am going to hold in my heart for the world, for you and for me is


 hopeful




"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

    Romans 15:13

Happy New Year my friends.  
I wish for you so many wonderful things this year.  

Hugs!

***just an after thought:  I'm still fighting with this "vintage" laptop, but we are most definitely going to get back to some book talk soon.  Please visit me on instagram @bee_tweenthelines. Hugs!

Sunday Thoughts... Rest with no guilt

"If we do not allow for a rhythm of rest in our overly busy lives, 

illness becomes our Sabbath---our pneumonia, our cancer, our heart attack, 

our accidents create Sabbath for us".

Wayne Muller,  Sabbath

(taken from  "Rhythms of Rest)

Spring Break...Resting and recharging...

no guilt!

This was my instagram post a week ago.   And.... this is pretty much how I spent my week. 
I have done nothing, and I have done everything.

When I left school Friday, the beginning of a week long break, I was exhausted.  I wasn't physically tired, my spirit was empty.  I left feeling like I had nothing left to give.  I had allowed too many things to weigh on my heart.   Some things are worthy of taking up space, the rest is clutter.   I allow the clutter to gather and empty me.

Worthy or not, very little can I control.  I don't know about you, but it is those things I cannot make better that wear down the heart... the soul... the spirit.  Everyone has something, some place, someone they go to when the well is empty.  Would it surprise you it was a book where I rested this week?

This was one of those finds placed in front of me so often, I had to pick it up to see what it was all about.  Yes... I do believe things are set in our path when we need them.

Shelly Miller shares her thoughts and experiences on implementing the practice of rest, Sabbath.  The older I get the more I realize I can't do it all.  About 70 + pages in I was slapped in the face with a question.  "Do you often help others, but rarely, if ever, admit you need help?  If your answer is yes, you may be deriving a false sense of self-worth."   I wrote to the side.... maybe.    Just days before stumbling into those words I had been ask by the one closest to my heart, "Why do you think you have to do everything yourself?"  Bam!

The jewel I take away from this book (I think each reader will take away what they are needing)  rest is not sitting down for a day, but learning to take a block of time to put away the work, the chores and do what fills you... curling up with a book, pulling weeds in the garden, writing, cooking a great meal, enjoying a glass of wine and conversation with a good friend.   I can implement rest on my terms and my schedule... and not feel guilty.

From the back of the book,
"Sabbath is a from God to be embraced, not a spiritual hoop to jump through..."

My book is filled with underlinings, asterisks and sticky tabs.   There is so much rich text between the covers, I will be referring back for encouragement often.   Learning to put the "have to" to the side for awhile will take some intentional practice.

And, on the other end of the spectrum.  I recently finished Trials of the Earth by Mary Mann Hamilton.  This was a book group read, though not my selection, I pushed for this one during our book selection.   When I began the book, the simplicity of the writing pulled me in, but caused me to wonder how my fellow readers would review it.

 
Trials of the Earth, is Mary Mann Hamilton's remarkable life's story.  The simplicity of the writing is what made this autobiography enjoyable.   Her story is one of heartbreak, one disaster after another, and true love.  Though she often speaks of needing rest there was never time.   Her life is spent raising and burying children, running a boardinghouse, living in a logging camps,  watching one dream after stolen, and never losing faith in a husband with a mysterious past.

I finished Trials of the Earth, after our book discussion (everyone seemed to enjoy it... the discussion was lively), and....
I loved, loved, loved this book.

Today is my last day of spring break and I am ready to return.
I hope you are enjoying a restful weekend doing what gives you rest.
I hope you will share where and how you find rest when you are depleted.

Sunday Thoughts... A Radical Resolution

I hope your New Year is off to a good start.  

I love the New Year.  

It's a concrete moment when we can close the door to the past and begin afresh.  I love the chance to hit restart.   Though, I stopped making New Year's Resolutions many years ago, I've been thinking about these pledges made in anticipation of a new calendar year lately.

What if...

instead of making a one time obligatory resolution in January, what would happen if we woke each morning in prayer, asking to be the best we can be, do the best we can do, just for that one day.... not to be the best, to have the most, but be our best throughout our day.   This may be listening to someone's story... holding a hand of someone who is scared... bandaging a knee... smiling at a stranger... giving a hug.  And, sometimes our best is simply taking care of ourselves.

 Think about it.  

If we begin each morning prayerfully making our resolution, we can't fail.

And think...

                                                                      of the tidal wave. 

Wishing you the best New Year ever!

Stay on Task

We were out of school today.  It was most definitely a welcomed day of rest.  Last week was a roller coaster ride.  We partied and paraded for Mardi Gras, took a day for reflection on Ash Wednesday, and exchanged Valentine's Friday.  Wow, there was lots of glitter swirling around in my room as we prepared for each event.   Today was a welcomed treat.

If we had received a bit of snow I might have been inclined to settle in with a book.  I have several I have been reading.

But, there were things needing to be accomplished.  

So, I took out my pad and made my "to do" list.

Do you make a daily list of things you want to do? 

I tend to get a little distracted, if I don't have a list to tic off my finished projects.   I've seen several different methods of keeping track of projects and other information on Pinterest; they are fabulous.  I have found keeping a simple little notebook near is easiest for me.  

My daughter gave me a package of these little notebooks for Christmas a couple of years ago.   This pad is always in my purse or book bag.   I use it for everything, my to do list, grocery list, measurements for a project, and on and on.   I was once notorious for keeping little snippets of paper with notes, and they always seemed to disappear into the abyss.   Keeping one notebook is easy and keeps me on track.

How do you stay the course when there is a list of tasks to complete?

Almost everything on my list is checked off.
It's time to relax.

I hope your week is off to a good start!
Hugs!

   

Time

Seconds turn into minutes,

minutes into hours,

hours into days,

and days into weeks...

Whenever I had a school assignment weighing on me, my Mother would patiently listen to

my complaints, seldom offering up a suggestion or giving an opinion.  Instead, after sitting with me while I whimpered and whined she would stand, place a hand on my shoulder and say, "well I suppose you need to get busy, 'time waits for no man' ".

Whenever I begin to fret over my ever growing to-do list, I often

  think of her gentle hand and words sending me off to stay on task.  

It is so easy to get tangled up as time rushes us forward.

   

Mother was right, the hands of time doesn't halt his march,

 nor slow his pace.

Sometimes, though, it is necessary to pause on the bridge 

between the land of need to dos and the island of should dos

and allow time to continue his passage without us.

I don't want to miss one amazing thing!

"For somewhere he has spoken 

about the seventh day in these words: 

'On the seventh day God rested from

 all his works.' " Hebrews 4:4.

Tech Break

A week or so ago I did the unthinkable....

I shut down the laptop, put it on the shelf and walked away.

I needed a tech break.

There were books stacking up.

Ripper is not what I expected from Isabel Allende, however, Allende's debut into the mystery/thriller genre is both enjoyable and entertaining.   Halfway through the book I was pretty sure I had this mystery figured out.   And, I did, well sort of.   Allende blindsided me with the perfect and unexpected twist. 

 There were projects to finish.  

I promised I would share what was on my needles.

There were houseguests to prepare for and entertain.

Celebrations to attend and attend to.

Now the garden is beginning to wake...

And in the midst of spring we will be welcoming a precious new life.

I'm back...

there is so much life to live

and share.

Bloom

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud

was more painful than the risk

it took to blossom.

                                            Anais Nin

Have a wonderful weekend!

Christmas Rescheduled

The picture says it all!

This is what I woke to yesterday morning.  The tree fell silently

in the night.   St. Nicholas (the tree topper)  landed on the opposite side of the room.

All of the ornaments from back fell through the tree breaking many of those

 left hanging on the tree.

I took a moment to cry...

another to scream...

Then I had to get on with my day.

I must confess I did use the above picture yesterday when 

involved in a minor conflict.  I pulled up the photo, showed it, and with a smile,

said very calmly,  "Today is really not the day to play with me".

I think out of pure fear...

it worked.

Okay my moment is over.  

The tree is standing once again, although naked.

The damage has been assessed.

I've put it all in perspective.

It is only glass...baubles.  

Some more precious than others, but

trinkets none the less.

I'll let you know if I redress the tree or toss it to the curb.

There are fewer ornaments to worry over.

Stay tuned!

Counting Blessings

Do ever have those days when you wake up and it takes only a few minutes to realize your day is not going in the direction you had hoped?

Several weeks ago, a week or two before Halloween,  my day began its downward spiral.  Trying to leave for school in my usual rush, I found myself locked behind our driveway gate.   After trying to open it several times from inside my car, I got out, remote in my hand, walked up to the gate, aimed and punched the open button again...nothing, not even an "I'm trying to open" sound.   Panic gripped my stomach.  I had thirty minutes to get to school and I was locked in, unable to exit.  Thanks to a friend picking me up I made it to school, but my day pretty much continued in the same general direction, downhill.   And then there was the final blow.

Another friend delivered my safely home, leaving me with an "I love you".  As I entered my home the silence was deafening, I paced.   I went upstairs to change clothes and there on the floor were my sneakers just where I had left them the day before.  I knew what I needed...sitting on the floor I changed shoes careful to double knot the long laces.  Channeling my best "Forest Gump" attitude, I walked out my front door and started walking.  I didn't have a destination nor a timetable.  I just knew I needed to walk.  I walked up sunny streets and down the shady ones.  I circled once and back, in and out and around my neighborhood, my thoughts racing in the same random directions.  

I'm not for sure how long I walked, nor how many times I walked down the same street.   My thoughts and pace slowed just as I found myself crossing my own street.  I had walked enough, I turned and headed home.  Just as I saw my house a phrase passed through me so powerful it stopped my forward movement...

"count your blessings"

As I walked the last block to my front door I began reciting the many ways I have been blessed.

It didn't block the sadness I was feeling.  It did, however,  make the the load a little lighter and the day seem a bit warmer.

My blessings?

...my amazing husband who main objective in life is to care for his family

...my daughter who fills my heart with joy daily just by existing in my world

...my son-in-law who we feel so fortunate to have as part of our family

...the women who I am allowed to work with and call friends
(seriously if you are ever in need of the wagons circling,
 these are the women to be traveling with)
...my friends, old, new and those I have reconnected with;
 those who are near and those who far way.
...a job I dearly love, even on the days I'm taken to my knees
...you who I have connected with in this crazy blogging world,
and who read my sometimes crazy ramblings
...and my sweet Willie, who asks for nothing more than to curl up
next me, well... maybe a puppy treat or two

                                                                                                                    These are just a few...

As the sunsets on another day I hope you will take a moment, and count your blessings.
I know for some it may be hard to see beyond the worries, the heavy heart or anger, but it
will give you a moment to rest, and maybe give you reason to smile.

Each chapel morning the children sitting on the front row are ask to share something for which they are thankful.   The collection runs from legos to their teacher.  Do you have something your are thankful for?  I hope you'll share.

I made it through another day....
and yes,  I am blessed.

I do hope your cares are few and your blessing many.

via

Roots and Wings

Update:  Technical difficulties with photos and a scheduled post posting too soon.  I apologize if this is showing up as new.

"The greatest gifts you can give your child are

 the roots of responsibility and

 the wings of independence."

Wednesday morning I passed over the play clothes for "big" girl attire, applied make-up and slipped on a pair of shoes other than the summer's flip-flops.  The days of making my own schedule had come to an end.  This was the day to meet and greet my new children and their families.  It was a day of introductions and reunions, of shy smiles and comforting hugs and lots and lots of picture taking.  I spent time with each child, and also with the moms and dads.  I have found it is often the parents who need the hand holding and reassurance.

When talking to parents I often bring in my own experiences as a mom into the conversation.  I am, after all, first and foremost a mom.  It has been my most enjoyable job ever.   When the tears begin to flow, I hug and promise all will be well.  I tell them how every year after dropping my daughter off on the first day,  I would drive home in tears.

So many years ago I drove through the same driveway these parents will enter to drop off my daughter for her very first day of pre-school.  The car door was opened and H. was greeted by the same smiling blue eyes and good-morning that will welcome each student next week.   As soon as H. was helped from the car and the door closed, my tears flowed.  I could hardly see to drive home.   Time crept by; I am sure I was the first person to arrive back in the car-pool line.  I had survived, I was hoping she had as well.  

The car door was opened and her sweet teacher assured me she had a very good day.  As we drove away H. asked why she couldn't stay for lunch, "everyone else stayed for lunch", and she wanted to stay for lunch as well.  The dagger was thrust and found its target deep into the center my heart.  Yes, we spent the next morning in search of the perfect "My Little Pony" lunch box.

Thursday morning arrived.  I packed her favorite sandwich, green beans, a cookie and apple juice.  I wrote a note for her and a check for the school.  She was excited, I stood wondering how I would survive my day.   I put on my best smile and tried to be brave to the one who was taking a step away from me.  Upon arrival, the door was opened with the same warm smile.  H. jumped out of the car and without a glance back, ran down the walkway, lunchbox slapping against her little leg.  

Again, I made the drive home in tears.  No, this is not true, I sobbed all the way home.   I called my mother.  She assured me all would be well, and told me of my own first day of school.  She said she was most certain I would cry, and was prepared to pick me up and take me home.  She then told me she was the one who cried on that morning and on the first day of school every year after.  I then knew I would...I could do this.

  The first day of school is the concrete marking of a child's growing independence,  more so than any other milestone.   I, as much as anyone, know the bittersweetness of the moment.  We want to hold on, but as a parent it is our role to allow, and sometimes push, our children out of their comfort zone.  It is through this narrow channel of safety where we have the opportunity to give them them space to learn to make good decisions, solve their problems and grow into strong independent adults.  

Roots and Wings

If I had two wishes, I know what they would be

I'd wish for roots to cling to, and wings to set me free;

Roots of inner values, like rings within a tree,

and wings of independence to seek my destiny.

If I had two wishes, I know what they would be

Roots to hold forever to keep me safe and strong,

To let me know you love me, when I've done something wrong;

To show me by example, and help me learn to choose,

To Take those actions every day to win instead of lose.

Just be there when I need you, to tell me it's all right,

To Face my fear of falling when I test my wings in flight;

Don't make my life too easy, it's better if I try,

And fail and get back up myself, so I can learn to fly.

If I had two wishes, and two were all I had,

And they could just be granted, by my Mom and Dad;

I wouldn't ask for money or any store-bought things.

The greatest gifts I'd ask for are simply Roots and Wings.

                                     

                                                                               Denis Waitley

And so this post has taken a turn in a direction I had not anticipated at its beginning, but here we are none the less.   Do not feel ashamed at shedding tears as your child lets go. Give them a kiss, a hug, do not call them back, but stand and marvel as wings begin to dry and are tested in anticipation of the ultimate flight.  

The role of a parent is not an easy one.  There is no script, no guarantees or promises,

 but the rewards are many. 

Morning breaks and it is just like every other morning.  It is't a bad thing, it is just the way it is.

Routine is good, status quo can be comforting.  No surprises.

Then without warning, somewhere in the day, the game changes, 

the wind switches direction, pieces are moved and fate takes control.

This morning started out like any other.  I roamed outside with Willie, made coffee and saw R. off to work.  I walked my two miles, read and answered emails.  I sent out a few reminders and set up a meeting or two.   As the morning progressed I kept my eye on the clock.  I had a much needed hair appointment I was thinking of canceling.   I had a little minor out-patient surgery on my back yesterday; I was worried I might not be able to lay back to have my hair shampooed.   All morning I found myself reaching back to touch the bandage covering the stitches wondering if I should go or wait.  I weighed the possible pain with having to reschedule an appointment that was made six weeks ago.  Time passed, and vanity won out over comfort.

My appointment was for 2:30, I left home at 2:00.  I took my usual route, the traffic was slower than normal.  I wouldn't have time to stop into the bookstore.  Parking can sometimes be difficult, but there was a spot waiting for me right in front of the spa.   I had just enough time to run into Starbucks for my green tea, before my appointment time.  I ran into an old friend, we stood chatting about our girls then went our separate ways.  

The receptionist greeted me as I walked past.  I usually sit in the waiting area, but on a whim walked back to M.'s cubicle.   He was finishing up someone and told me sit in his second chair.   As we chatted I watch another  salon client walk to the back of the spa.   I thought I recognized her, but couldn't put my finger on who she might be.   Soon she walked back, she looked so familiar and I became more certain I knew her.   She reminded me of a friend from long ago.  A friend I lost contact with when we both moved away.  I knew that was impossible, and decided it was probably someone from one of the schools my daughter attended or a church committee.  I probably didn't really know her at all;  it was just a familiar face.

After talking about my color, and deciding not to change anything the colorist left to go do her mixing.  M. left to meet his next client.   As they entered I saw it was the woman I had been trying to place.  I thought to myself, surely I will hear a name and figure out who the person is.

She sat down.
"Your new",  M said.

"Yes, I am.  I just moved here."

"Where are you from?"

"Salt Lake City, Utah".

Well, that put an end to my inquiry.  I don't know anyone from Salt Lake City.  The conversation went a little further, and I couldn't help but put my two cents worth in the mix.

"I'm sorry, I feel like I should know you".

"Well, have you ever been to Salt Lake City", she asked.

"No", I replied.

"I lived in Atlanta?"

My heart skipped a beat.
"Did you live in Nashville?"

The woman look stunned.  "Yes."

"Are you JH?"
Before she could respond I gave her my name,

"I'm Bonnie C." 

There was some screaming and hugging.   M. stood back and watched speechless, 

and he is never speechless.  I looked at him, and said, "You don't understand, we were friends, our children were in pre-school together, we would go to lunch so many years ago."

Was it fate, a friend from long ago just happen to follow a recommendation from her realtor (who is not a client of M) and scheduled an appointment with my hairdresser on the same day in the time slot just following my own?

Is this serendipity?  

People walk in and out of our life everyday.  You see people in the grocery store, at church, in a restaurant their face makes an impression.  You recognize them the next time you pass them, you may even smile and say hi.

  Your friends, you think you will know forever, but events happen.  You move,  they move, keeping contact is not always easy.  You don't know why more of an effort wasn't made, but it wasn't.   You think of friends from long ago occasionally wondering what they are doing, would you recognize them if you saw them again.   We've aged, does it matter?  Would they be as recognizable as someone you passed in the market?  Then you get the chance.  A chance to rekindle a friendship.

Lunch is planned.

 There are years to catch up with.  

I am still questioning, 

What are the chances?

Hmmmmm....

I know a little about the brain.  When I say I know a little, that is exactly what I mean.  I haven't spent hours studying, nor is it something I am passionate about.  The knowledge I have comes from listening to the man I live with, my husband.  The brain or retraining the brain is his field of expertise; and, although I am probably a bit prejudice, he is very good at what he does.

Now with this knowledge you might be given the impression he
 might marry someone with a high functioning brain.
Someone who is an intellectual, always has something profound to say,
with the memory of an elephant.

Hmmmm....

So, many of you have ask about the book sale I was so excited about this past weekend.  You know I love spending vasts amounts of time browsing through dusty books others have read and cast aside, looking for that treasure someone mistakenly tossed in the donation pile. 

R. was exceptionally accommodating.  We are usually out of the house by 7:30, stopping for coffee before arriving with the early birds at the farmer's market.   This Saturday we postponed our departure so to time all our stops with the opening of the library book sale.  I made coffee at home, watered plants and checked emails.  Yes, I even checked my notice stating the time 

 of the library's opening.

The farmer's market was crowded; though late we found what we wanted, the first really pretty summer tomatoes, and peaches smelling of the sun.   We left the market with plenty of time for a leisurely breakfast.  We sat outside enjoying an unseasonably pleasant summer morning chatting with a few passing friends and acquaintances also out enjoying a beautiful Saturday morning.

Time moved slowly though.

The traffic was awful getting to the library.  We drove around a few minutes before deciding to give up finding a spot on the street and entered a parking garage.  We only needed to walk a few blocks before entering the front door of the Main Library.   The person at the information desk ask if she could help.  I knew where I was going, but out of courtesy ask if the book sale was again in the basement.

She let out a deep breath and handed me a postcard.  "The book sale is actually next week-end."

I am sure I said something, though I can't remember what, probably something original like "you're kidding me".  She was very nice, and assured me I was not the only one to show up early.  She said she was, in fact,  a little concerned that possibly some incorrect information had been posted.  

Well, upon reflection, I am sure the mistake was mine.  

I haven't ask yet, but I'm suspecting if I go to the sale this weekend 

I will be going solo.  So much for the memory of an elephant.

I'll blame it on summer's sorcery. 

I do hope you are having a good week thus far.

Let it Shine

"Lighthouses don't go running all over an island looking

for boats to save; they just stand there shining."

                                                                       Anne Lamont

I hope you are have a lovely week.

And Have No Regrets

Here I find myself in mid April.  

The days continue to race past.

I reach to grasp a moment,

 and feel it slide away

leaving only the scent

of a once presence.

Time is fragile.

It passes us without a blink.

Sometimes...

 we are fortunate to witness a miracle,

given a second chance.

Touch, 

inhale, 

and savor the taste

of every moment.

And have no regrets.

Have a wonderful week.

With Thanksgiving

    My favorite holiday is upon us.

It is time to stop, take a breath and remember what we have to be thankful for.

Many years ago I was invited to dine, a few times, in the home of an affluent woman in the small town where I was attending college.   We would gather in the parlor and await to be called into the dining room.  The butler would announce dinner and we were escorted in to be seated around a long banquet table.   Standing at the head of the table our hostess would ask everyone to be seated.   Servers stood behind us ready to answer our every need.

Before taking her seat she would ask everyone to join in giving thanks.
With a strong and clear voice she never hesitated to think of what to say next.  The prayer was always brief and to the point.  She first gave praise and then continued by giving thanks never asking for anything.  She always ended her prayer by giving thanks for "bread on her table and the roof over her head".

I was very young and thought how odd that this woman who was surrounded by so much would give thanks for things so simple, so trivial, as bread and the roof over her head.  It was later I learned these things  I had never needed to worry over,  food and having a home, were not always a certainty  for her.  I have never forgotten that prayer nor the sincerity with which it was offered.
It was a lesson of sincere gratitude so gently taught.

There is children's prayer we sang at the school where I taught in Nashville.

Oh the Lord is good to me
And so I thank the Lord
For giving me
The things I need
The sun and the rain
And the apple seed.
The Lord is good to me.

Yet another reminder of the simple blessings we so often take for granted.

And so as Thanksgiving Day approaches I give thanks for the many "things" with which I  have been blessed, but mostly for my precious family and simply for having bread on the table and a roof over my head.  And, I am always grateful to each of you who build me up with your visits and comments.

Happy Thanksgiving!
(I'll be back in a few days)

Miss Rose passed away shortly after I left that small town. 

 I have heard her home, the roof over her head,

 is now on  the Cane River Plantation tour.

A Little Blown Away

"You might be poor, your shoes might be broken, but your mind is a palace."

Frank McCourt

I read Angelia's Ashes many years ago and loved it.   I remember waking early just to spend a hour or so reading and weeping before anyone else began to stir.  My family benefited greatly by my reading this book.  I was so distraught over the poverty and hunger McCourt  described throughout his story I would fix enormous breakfasts (cooking through tears) just because I could.  It was one of those books that when you close the cover you find you have been changed.   I try very hard to not take anything for granted and to be thankful for all with which I have been blessed.

With all that said  I'm having to work a bit at finding the silver lining right now, but I know there is one.  Friday I finally hit the breaking point and needed to have my moment.  I knew I no longer had control of my surroundings and didn't (couldn't) talk to anyone.  I was either going to snap or start sobbing.  The best thing for me was going to be to just keep my mouth shut.  

I work with two wonderful women (I actually work with thirteen wonderful women) who can read "my deer in the headlight" expressions.   When I walked into school Friday one looked at me and ask how things were and said, "You are going to cry aren't you?"  She allowed me to walk by and I could feel her protection the rest of the morning.  

The second dear friend stood with me and listened while I explained how out of control I was feeling, tears pooling under my eyes.  This in itself helped me regain my composure and a sense of control.

We have been both literally and figuratively blown away here at Living Life.  After having two plumbers and my contractor in to tell me what I should do about the water seeping up through the floors, the insurance company finally took charge.  They sent a "clean up" crew in Thursday evening and within fifteen minutes had found the leak.  The leak was not in the shower in the master or the tub in the hall bathroom.  It was in the wall behind a sink in the upstairs bathroom.  

By 8:00 p.m. they had ripped off baseboards and wood flooring.  They brought in industrial fans and dehumidifiers.

By 9:00 p.m.  they realized there was too much water for the dehumidifiers, left and returned with equipment to pump the water out of the house.

   

A third plumber came in Friday morning, and after making five holes in the kitchen ceiling, one in the family room, one in my studio wall and one under the sink finally found a way to stop the leak.  

Tomorrow the plumber will return and reseal the marble shower and recaulk all the bathtubs.  The appraiser with be in to assess the damage.   The fans and dehumidifiers will remain for another week.  The clean up guys come in everyday to take moisture readings.   Once all is dry the reconstruction will begin.  

As I read the above quotation I remembered the time reading Angelia's Ashes and the impact it had.  I had my moment and I am back.  I still have little if any control over what is going on inside my home.     I do, however, have control over my mind and how I choose to handle the situation.  This I know all will be put back to normal in a month or so.

Oh, and you have to find the humor in every situation.  Friday morning I walked through the family room with a plate of toast looking for a quiet place for a bite of breakfast.   As, I passed through the collection fans my bread was blown off the plate and sent sailing through the air.   I constantly have that  much sought after windblown look.  Today.....I choose to laugh.

What can I say....it is what it is!

Fortunately it is only my house (how blessed I am to have a house), brick and mortar, needing to be fixed, and it can and will be.  I'm over it.  Nothing more needs to be said.

I may be in and out for a couple of weeks.  I will keep up with you though.  

I hope you can find a little humor in what ever bridge you find yourself crossing today.