Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Is It Too Late?

Is it too late to wish you a Happy New Year ?
I think not, and so, though late, I send you wishes for a wonderful 2015.
May it be filled with joy, love, and good health.

The end of 2014 sped by leaving me a bit dizzy.  I honestly finished decorating just hours before  our annual after Christmas Eve Mass party.  I kept it simple this year, truly making the evening about Christmas, family and good friends.

The day after Christmas we left on our annual trek to the oceanside where both my birthday and the new year were celebrated.   Yes, my birthday... 

This was one of those birthday's.   It was one of those "significant" birthdays.  The morning of my birthday I awoke before the sun feeling a bit anxious; I will admit, a bit down.  The morning of my fortieth birthday I awoke looking for new wrinkles.  Now twenty years later,  I no longer worry about wrinkles, instead I spend my time wondering about things "done and those left undone"... things both large and small.  I took a morning walk along the shore trying to reconcile where I've been and where I'm going.  I wonder if I have cared for others as much as I should.  Perhaps I've held grudges for wounds whose scars should have faded long ago.  Have I used my talents and time wisely, or have I allowed them to be swept away by the winds of time?  Have I listened well, or have I been too quick to speak?  Have I encouraged, or have I enabled?  Have I been honest and true to myself.  I don't think I will ever be able to answer any of these ponderings, at least not without bias.  Though the waves calmed my worried heart, an answer was not heard nor, I suspect, offered. 

The ocean is where I find my solace.   It is where my mind stops spinning and my heart slows.   She has handed out many wise teachings through the years...  There will always be ebb and flow.  There is nothing more promising than watching the sun rise, casting diamonds over the turquoise water; nothing more reverent than watching the sun gently fall behind the water before painting the sky with unimaginable color.  Bad things will occasionally wash up demanding attention and energy,  but sometimes, if vigilant and open, a treasure will be deposited at my feet.   Perhaps her greatest lesson is to always look toward the horizon where there are endless possibilities waiting.   I am no longer anxious about turning sixty, because this I did hear from my quiet tutor...

as long as there is movement...
it is never too late!