Why I Can't Finish "The Polar Express"

I love reading.  

I love reading to children.

Each year before we leave for Christmas vacation I read Chris Van Allsburg's  The Polar Express  to our oldest pre-schoolers.  This year I ask, "Am I reading this year?"  This is probably where I should tell you, The Polar Express is not an easy read for me.   I am an avid reader, and  a make-believe writer...  words are not my problem.  It is this a magical book.

If you are not familiar with this amazing story, here is an abbreviated version.   The narrator, an older man,  who as a child is transported by train,"The Polar Express" to the North Pole to meet Santa, on Christmas Eve.  Each year, after everyone has arrived and gathered in the center of town, Santa appears and selects one child to give the first gift of Christmas.  It is our storyteller who is chosen.  When given the chance to ask for anything, his simple request is one of the reindeer's bells.  Santa delighted by the humble request instructs a bell be cut from a harness and declares it to be the first gift of Christmas.  Upon reboarding the train the child discovers he has lost the precious bell through a hole in the pocket of his robe.  Heartbroken he returns home and bed in time for Christmas morning.  After opening all the presents his sister finds one small box hidden behind the Christmas tree with his name on it.  Inside he finds the lost bell with a note from Santa Claus.  He tells us when he rings the bell, only he and his sister hear it's ringing.  

"At one time most of my friends could hear the bell, but as years passed, it fell silent for all of them.  Even Sarah found one Christmas that she could no longer hear its sweet sound.  Though I've grown old, the bell still rings for me as it does for all who truly believe".

You may think this is just a simple story about a boy, Santa and a lost gift.  Oh, my friends,  it is so much more; and I promised an explanation of why I cannot finish without becoming overcome with emotion.  You see, I still hear that bell.  

I always have. 

 I heard it at four when a neighbor told me there was no Santa, and my mother told me Santa was found in my heart.  I heard it at eight when we were told my mother was very sick.  I heard it 29 years later when my mother passed away just before Christmas.  

Yes, just like everyone else, I get stressed out.  I get caught up in the memories, comparisons, and hype of trying to make sure "this Christmas" is the best ever.  Then...  I open The Polar Express, and like our narrator...

I find what is lost, I remember Christmas is not a celebration of what is seen, and 
I hear that tinkling of the bell.

So, amid the stress, sadness, anger and transitions we all face at Christmas and throughout the year, there is no better way to end than with believing in the magic of Christmas, 
and the miracle birth of the Christ child.

May you find time to breathe, to listen and to celebrate.
Merry Christmas!

Sunday Thoughts...Mary Did You Know?

"Mary did you know your baby boy would one day walk on water?"

One of my favorite Christmas Carols is "Mary Did You Know".  Each time I hear it, my thoughts turn to the young teenage pregnant mother, Mary, preparing to deliver her baby.

 I look back just weeks before I gave birth.  I was 29 and had been married four years.  It was an exciting, but scary time.  Instinct, hormones, something took over and I began the process of "nesting".  Everyone fussed over me.  Neighbors visited, friends called and my mother packed her suitcase.  There might have been a baby shower or two.   Baby clothes were washed and hung.  There was a good stash of diapers stored in the nursery closet.  Arrangements had been made months ahead of time for delivering my baby.  I knew there would be a room available.  I knew there would be nurses and a doctor to care for both me and my baby.  All asked of me was to wait, plan and dream of my child's bright future.

Though we are in the last week of Advent, ready to rejoice in the birth of Jesus,  this mother's heart continues to return to the young pregnant girl traveling, with her soon-to-be-husband, to a distant city.  There was no nesting... no parties... no one to fuss over her.  Instead doors were slammed in her face, until she and her fiancé were offered a cave, a dwelling place for animals.  Was she terrified?   Instead of nurses and doctors taking care of every need,  she gives birth in the presence of cows, goats and sheep.

As a mother and grandmother, I wonder what Mary hoped for her child?  She had been told she was giving birth to the Messiah.   Did she still hold in her heart the same hopes and dreams I had for my own child? 

Did she know?

As I rush around wrapping up all the loose ends of holiday preparations, I continually find myself in awe of the faith of this young Mary who gave birth to our Savior so many many years ago.   And I give thanks for the gift she gave to the world.

"Mary did you know...."

          "when you kissed your little baby,

you kissed the face of God?

Merry Christmas!

(my favorite Christmas carol)

Christmas Week

Here it is...the countdown.

Christmas is just days away.  Are you ready?  I have to admit, I am not.   My heart is beginning to race.  My list continues to grow.  My nights are interrupted by a brain in overdrive.  In other words, yep...
 I am about to panic.

Thankfully, I have a legion of Nutcrackers watching my back.

The tree finally has moved from

to

Whew!  I was a bit worried it would be finished.

The deer have taken their place.

Garlands are draped.

And Santa? 

Well, he continues to work into the night.

We are nearing the finish line.  

Sending you wishes for peace, joy and
 a Merry Christmas! 

 And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.

                        Luke 2:10

A Holiday Exchange

As a young mother one of my favorite events was my mother's support group's annual cookie swap. Most of us had very young children and very little time for baking.  The idea was each member would bake enough of one type of cookie for each member to claim a dozen to take home to have on hand for the holidays.   It was always such fun to see the variety.

When Elizabeth at Pinecones and Acorns posted a "Virtual Cookie Exchange", I couldn't resisted pulling out a favorite Christmas (not technically cookie) recipe.

These rum balls are always a favorite at our Christmas Eve gathering.  Any leftovers are boxed up and sent home with our guests.     

Royal Rum Balls

(recipe from Christmas with Southern Living 1995)

Yield:  3 dozen

2 cups gingersnaps crumbs 

2 cups chocolate wafer crumbs

1 1/2 cups sifted powdered sugar

1 cup flaked coconut

1 cup ground pecans, toasted

1/3 cup pitted dates, chopped

1/3 cup dark rum

3 tablespoons light corn syrup

2 tablespoons butter, melted

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Additional powdered sugar and gingersnap crumbs

Position knife blade in food processor bowl; add first 6 ingredients.  Process until blended; add rum and next 3 ingredients.  Process until mixture holds together.

Shape into 1 1/4" balls.  Roll balls in additional powdered sugar or gingersnap crumbs.  Repeat rolling procedure.

If rum balls are made ahead, reroll balls in either  powdered sugar or gingersnap crumbs, to refreshen, before serving.

December 23rd...

Well, here it is the twenty-third of December.

I wish I were ready for the big day, but like Santa,
there is always much to do until the final reindeer is hooked up,
 and the sleigh takes off.

My list is made, my routes planned out
(I've been told I get a little stressed this time of year).
Somehow everything will get accomplished.  In the end,
if something falls through the cracks, it doesn't really matter...
It is Christmas!

AND,

my little elf is on his way!

Merry Christmas everyone!
May your Christmas be all you wish it to be.


Enjoy the music of the season.

Joyful, Joyful

1. 
   
   Joyful, joyful, we adore Thee,
   God of glory, Lord of love;
   Hearts unfold like flow’rs before Thee,
   Op’ning to the sun above.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   Melt the clouds of sin and sadness;
   Drive the dark of doubt away;
   Giver of immortal gladness,
   Fill us with the light of day!

All Thy works with joy surround Thee,

Earth and heav’n reflect Thy rays,

Stars and angels sing around Thee,

Center of unbroken praise.

1. 

   
   
   Field and forest, vale and mountain,
   Flow’ry meadow, flashing sea,
   Singing bird and flowing fountain
   Call us to rejoice in Thee.
   
   
2. 
   
   
   Thou art giving and forgiving,
   Ever blessing, ever blest,
   Wellspring of the joy of living,
   Ocean depth of happy rest!
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   Thou our Father, Christ our Brother,
   All who live in love are Thine;
   Teach us how to love each other,
   Lift us to the joy divine.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   Mortals, join the happy chorus,
   Which the morning stars began;
   Father love is reigning o’er us,
   Brother love binds man to man.
   
   
3. 
   
   
   Ever singing, march we onward,
   Victors in the midst of strife,
   Joyful music leads us Sunward
   In the triumph song of life.

The Feast of St. Nicholas

Jolly old Saint Nicholas,

Lean your ear this way!

Don't you tell a single soul

What I'm going to say.

Christmas Eve is coming soon;

Now you dear old man

Whisper what you'll bring to me;

Tell me if you can.

When the clock is striking twelve,

When I'm fast asleep

Down the chimney, broad and black,

With your pack you'll creep.

via vintageimages.org

Nicholas of Myra.
Today as we celebrate The Feast of St. Nicholas, the saint of children and sailors I have thoughts and memories of children swirling through my head and heart.

I love children.
There is nothing  makes my heart happier than to see a smiling child.   Nothing can take me to my knees quicker than hearing of a child being mistreated or harmed.  St. Nicholas loved children.  He cared for all children; most of all, he aided those in need.

We need St. Nicholas today, perhaps more than any other time I can remember.
 I turn on the news, open the newspaper and there are stories of children being locked away, left to perish, or harmed in unspeakable ways.  It is often said "children are our future"  ...no, children are our now.

Though St. Nicholas Day was not a tradition in my home, my mother taught us the need to care for those in need.  Long before there were Angel Trees or red kettles my mother would find a family, through the school, to help out with Christmas.

I grew up in a small Louisiana town.  There was one department store, a dress shop, a gift shop,  two Five & Dimes, and a Sears catalogue store.  Each year, the week after Thanksgiving, Mother would take me to Sears to see Santa Claus.  I've told you, I was told there was no Santa Claus when I was very young, and though heartbroken, I've never stopped believing.  I will now admit, that man dressed in red, scared the beegeezies out of me.   I would leave the house feeling so brave, but the closer we got the more apprehensive I became.  By the time we walked through the door I was clenching my mother's arm and begging her to not make me talk to him.

With my heart beating outside my body, we took our place behind the line of children and moms stringing in and around the washers, refrigerators and lawnmowers.   As I squirmed and whined,  Mother would whisper encouragements; and, as we drew closer she would point out a child or two in the line,  explaining how a visit to Santa would probably be their only Christmas gift.  Some of you may think she was trying to guilt me into accepting a visit to Santa with gratitude.  No, she was setting up act two of our outing.

 Though I always had a long list to recite, it seems once I arrived before HIM I only managed to whimper out....a new baby doll please.   Talking to Santa was never as bad as I made up in my head, but I joyfully welcomed my mother's hand and our quick exit.

After the treat of going to a restaurant for lunch, it was time to fill Mother's wish list.  Her list was filled with children's names, needs and sizes.  We walked from store to store picking out a complete outfit for each child.  Mother selected the clothes, and left the toy buying to me.  Well...she would tell me how much I could spend and I, along with my friend and owner of my favorite dime store, selected one toy for each child.  I always suspected Mr. McGregor pitched in on the toys.

Once home and the gifts were wrapped our outing was never mentioned.
 I was told, after each trip, if I saw someone at school wearing anything we had purchased, I was to keep quiet.  Most years I never knew where, when, how or to whom Mother delivered her bounty.

Today, children visit Santa Claus at malls.  Department stores no longer hire the man in red.  He is an employee of a photography company.  The visit is no longer about the magic or the mystery.    It is about someone making money.  I've heard a visit with Santa this year is about $25.  He is now grouchy and impatient instead of jolly.  Crying children and those with special needs are being sent away.  And, once again those who are the least will be left out....I can only imagine the tear in the heart of St. Nicholas.   Maybe, today as we contemplate and celebrate the life of Nicholas of Myra we need to don our cloaks and take up the staffs and care for those who are in need.  We needn't look far.

Tomorrow we enter the second week of Advent, the week of preparation.  I can't think of a better way to prepare our hearts for Christmas than to give to others.

Hanging in a row
Mine will be the shortest one,
You'll be sure to know

Bobby wants a pair of skates,
Suzy wants a sled
Nellie wants a picture book,
Yellow, blue, and red
Now I think I'll leave to you
What to give the rest
Choose for me, dear Santa Claus;
You will know the best.

Enjoy your weekend!

Welcome December

I do hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving.   

We spent the holiday with our daughter, son-in-law and precious grandson.
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday (how many times have I mentioned this?), and my favorite meal to prepare.  This year, however, I was told the only thing I was to do was to spend time with Wyatt.  It was a tough job, but I was more than happy to take on the responsibility.

Dinner was delicious and having time with family... a blessing.

Now it is time to face the busyness of December.   This year, I had plans to slow down and truly enjoy the season; however, it seems I forgot to share this information.  There was a time when I thought it wasn't the holiday season unless I was overextended and stressed.  I felt the necessity to be on everyone's committee rooster and invitation list.  I couldn't and didn't really want to say no.   January was my month to recuperate.

I am now in a place where I want to be more of a Mary and less of a Martha.  I want to breathe and enjoy the preparation instead of waking up with a feeling of dread and defeat before my feet hit the floor.  I want to spend my time with good friends and family.

One thing I've discovered... it is easier to be added to volunteer lists than removed.   I will fulfill as many expectations as possible, and head toward a less stressful season.

Today as we enter Advent, I hope your days are filled with the beauty of the season and what makes you happy.

Merry Christmas

I love waking up Christmas morning!
 I am always the first one down.
Packages multiplied under the tree all through the night.

Santa's helper finishes filling stockings just before the first

footsteps are heard coming down the stairs.

And now it is time for me to wish all of you gentle people

a beautiful Christmas.  May all of your days be as magical

as the first light of Christmas morning.

Merry Christmas!

Books for Christmas

Have you completed your holiday preparations?

If you are happily sitting with a cup a tea, feeling comfort with

the knowledge you have finished shopping, creating and wrapping,

I humbly bow to you,  and congratulate you on your accomplishment.

I will also add, I am green with envy.

Today I will make my final push to finish my Christmas shopping.
I have my journey mapped out, sort of.
Here are my two admissions...
...I am a last minute Christmas shopper, and
...I am always a little stressed this time of year.

I almost always end my holiday hunt in the bookstore.  It reduces my stress level being among friends.  And, it brings me such joy to match a person's interests with a title or favorite author.  I take this quest quite seriously.  I often do this alone as most lack the stamina.  Alas, it has been hinted, this year, my beloved books are not really wanted.
Oh, how that arrow plunged deep and hurt!

Last evening, I couldn't resist some browsing, and found so many interesting treasures.
  If I were giving books this year, I might select one of the following.
Are you looking for that last minute gift?
Might I suggest...

                                                  For....

the Fictionista...

(I have all of these on my "to-read" list)

 the Historian...

(we read so we don't forget)

 the Gardner...

(something for everyone who loves the garden)

the Chef...

(I may be gifting myself one of these)

and the children.

(these are some of my all-time favorite picture books)

Perhaps one of the above titles would be perfect for you or someone you know.

If you're not comfortable selecting a title for someone else

a gift card to your favorite bookstore might be perfect for the reader

on your list.  Don't forget to include a handsome bookmark.

Are books on your wish list this Christmas?

Oh, I do hope so!

book images from 

Barnes and Noble website

Christmas Back on Schedule

“And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, 
stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.” 

I said I couldn't do it.
I said I wouldn't do it.
But,  I did!

There were stipulations.
I would not place a single ornament until I had an
absolute guarantee the Christmas tree would not
fall again.

First there was a bit of surgery.

and a bit of tethering.

Once the tree was standing.
and the lights checked.

I began, totally against my will, the redressing.
It didn't take much for me to become totally obsessed.
It is who I am.

With the simple act of picking up each surviving piece and finding
 the perfect bough to place my memories,  I felt Christmas returning.

R. ask if I was planning to put out the Santa collection.

I had thought I would leave them packed away this year,  but there he stood holding the container filled with a collection assembled over the length of our 33 years together.
  I couldn't resist the anticipation in his eyes.

The music of Christmas is playing here at Living Life.
And my heart is feeling lighter.



“And what happened then? 
Well, in Whoville they say that the Grinch's small heart 
grew three sizes that day” 

Christmas Rescheduled

The picture says it all!

This is what I woke to yesterday morning.  The tree fell silently

in the night.   St. Nicholas (the tree topper)  landed on the opposite side of the room.

All of the ornaments from back fell through the tree breaking many of those

 left hanging on the tree.

I took a moment to cry...

another to scream...

Then I had to get on with my day.

I must confess I did use the above picture yesterday when 

involved in a minor conflict.  I pulled up the photo, showed it, and with a smile,

said very calmly,  "Today is really not the day to play with me".

I think out of pure fear...

it worked.

Okay my moment is over.  

The tree is standing once again, although naked.

The damage has been assessed.

I've put it all in perspective.

It is only glass...baubles.  

Some more precious than others, but

trinkets none the less.

I'll let you know if I redress the tree or toss it to the curb.

There are fewer ornaments to worry over.

Stay tuned!

Christmas Ponderings

Well here it is...Christmas is upon us.
This last week has been a sad and difficult one.
Many turned off the twinkling lights, took down the decorations and put them away.
Others, though no less heartbroken, chose to to continue with
holiday celebrations.  There is no right or wrong.

My own first reaction, a week ago, was to turn out the lights.  I couldn't think of lighting
 the Christmas tree when so many innocent lives were taken; so many families grieving.  Late in the evening I stood in my doorway and looked up and down my street.  Mine was the only house darkened.   The lights sparkling around each door and woven among the branches of shrubs didn't ease my aching heart, but it brought a warmth of hope I can't explain.

Saturday as I ran a few errands and prepared for a small dinner party,  I found myself humming "We Need a Little Christmas".   Each time it popped into my head I would try to silence it, feeling guilty for singing such a little ditty.  However, the song continued to  loop through my brain all day and into the new week.

Tuesday while doing a bit of running around a neighbor called to alert me that our street was blocked off.  She broke the news a neighbor's home was on fire.  I felt everything beginning to spin around me.  We had watched this young couple move in late in the summer and work on their home, doing much of it themselves.   M. and I continued to brainstorm what we could do immediately; it was decided, while I was out I would gather somethings they would need for the night.  As I roamed around the store frantically "We Need a Little Christmas" once again began streaming through my head.  When  I returned home there were police cars and firetrucks lining the street; it was now dark.  Small groups of neighbors huddled together, several in my front yard.   Everyone was asking the same thing...what can I do?

This year the holidays will be a somber one.    We will take time to be quiet and think of those who are suffering and heartbroken.  Here at "Living Life" we will listen a little closer, embrace a little tighter and look toward the light.

It  is the light atop the lighthouse that warns the seafarer.  A candle in the window welcomes home the wayward traveler.  And, it is the lights of Christmas which bring us together and give us hope and promise of a new tomorrow.

I will never understand the carnage that took place in Newtown, why ten young Afghan girls were killed while gathering wood in easter Afghanistan, or why my neighbor's home was destroyed.  I do know I believe in humanity.  I believe we are more alike than different.  And, I most certainly believe we will rise.

Yes I've
"Grown a little colder,
Grown a little sadder,
Grown a little older,
And I need a little angel
Sitting on my shoulder,
Need a little Christmas now."

May you find strength and hope this holiday season.
Merry Christmas!

The Company of Friends

I don't do it often enough, but I love to entertain.  I enjoy everything about it.

I enjoy designing the table,

planning the menu,

polishing the silver,

and opening my door to welcome dear friends and family.

I hope you are enjoying the company of those dear to you during this holiday

season.  I believe it is especially important now 

that we seek joy and peace in the company of others.

Books for Christmas

Thank you for all your well wishes.  The scrapes are healing and the bruises...as my sweet adoring husband tells me, are turning into lovely yellow areas.  Seriously, I know I am so fortunate.  Again thank you!

Now it is time to get on with the important stuff!  

Have you completed your Christmas list?  I haven't.  
I did spend some time this past weekend aiding the economy, 
but I still have a few things left on the list.

I'm a last minute kind of girl.  There is just something about
the rush of adrenaline when you are on the prowl for the perfect gift.  It is all about the hunt!

Would it surprise you to learn my favorite gifts to give are books?
I spend weeks browsing bookstores and reading reviews trying to match up the
perfect title with the perfect person on my list.

I thought you might be interested in a sampling of the books I've discovered as possibilities.  Some of these titles are on my own list to Santa.

Marmee and Louisa is on the top of my list.
If you know someone who loved Little Women, this dual biography might be a wonderful gift.  Eve LaPlante having the advantage of being a descendant of the Alcott family, takes us into this fascinating mother/daughter relationship.  We learn Louisa's mother was a gifted writer in her own right.  It is throughout Abigail's story we discover Louisa.

In Junior High I loved Agatha Christie.  I often imagined Miss Marple as my aunt,  and who wasn't a just bit intrigued (if not frighted) by the working mind of Hercule Periot?  I'll tell you a secret... I once played sick to stay home so I could finish Death on the Orient Express.   Using Christi's own archives, photos and post cards, The Grand Tour allows the reader and fan of Agatha Christi to accompany her on a year long voyage around the British Empire in 1922.   

For the lover of a good thriller on your list.  
 The Art Forger  looks perfect to me.  Shapiro takes us to the underbelly of the art world where a talented artist finds herself involved with art forgery.    We are promised a 
multi-layered story of "love, betrayal, and authenticity".

If you find this in your stocking I may want to borrow it.  Sounds perfect for a snow day.
(If we are so lucky)

 For your favorite history buff?   What about
Jon Meacham's Thomas Jefferson, The Art of Power?

I am dying to buy this for someone!  In Meacham's words, "He endures because we can see in him all the varied and wondrous possibilities of the human experience -- the thirst for knowledge, the capacity to create, the love of family and friends, the hunger for accomplishment, the applause of the world, the marshaling of power, the bending of others to one's own image."  One reviewer called this a "masterpiece".

For your favorite child?
How about 

Susan Jeffers does a beautiful job illustrating and retelling this Christmas favorite and

I adore it.   Susan Jeffers intentionally wrote this book for the younger child using fewer words and gorgeous illustrations.  For so many years "The Nutcracker" was a major part of our holiday.  This book took me back to the Christmas's when Heather and I attended this Christmas tradition, and the following years when she danced several different parts in the Nutcracker.  This would be a wonderful gift to give a child along with tickets to The Nutcracker.

Jan Brett is a favorite who never disappoints me.  
Home for Christmas follows an impish wild troll, tired of his family's demands,  as he leaves his family to be out on his own.  Just before Christmas he finds a family of moose and through unforeseen circumstances is unexpectantly returned home.  Like our friend Dorothy Gale, in another story, he finds out there "is no place like home".   I read this to my children this morning, and everyone was captivated by Rollo's adventure.

Do you enjoy giving books as Christmas gifts?
I hope I have given you a few ideas.
If you have read any of these titles I would love to hear your thoughts.

Oh, I finally finished the tree!

Book cover images 

via B&N and NPR.