Wednesday Thoughts

"If you feel that you are not strong enough to let your creative voice become heard, start with a whisper Your voice will come." unknown 

   I know I posted of my return and then went quiet... again. It was only for a few days this time. I am still figuring out where to take Living Life from here. What do I want to do in this space.  Shortly after writing about taking a break from Facebook, I sat and read back through ten years of my own writings. Reading through the years, I discovered the post when I found my voice... when I became a little more confident with MY words instead of trying to imitate or impress others. While reading your comments (some made me teary... such kind words)  I remembered how much I truly enjoyed writing and connecting here. 

So... let's see what happens!  I will continue with my disclaimers, and I'm almost always unedited, there will be mistakes... no judging. I hope you will stop by and leave a comment. (One day I may figure out how to reply individually.) Please let me know your thoughts.

 Hello... are you still there?

I'll be back soon to share some of my favorite books from the past several months. Oh my, what Covid has done to my reading life!  

Find something that makes your heart smile! 

Hugs!

 

 

Taking Risk

Most young children are risk takers. There is little, if any fear of being made fun of. Why would there be, children see themselves as stars.  Some might call this arrogance; I believe it is innocence. It doesn't last long. Somewhere around eight or nine, cliques and groups begin to form. It only takes one person to zero in and share a weak spot.  Suddenly all the confidence once held secure disappears. The innocence is gone. It is easier and safer to blend in, to be one of the crowd. 

I know the exact moment this happened to me. It is history, and though I have long let the incident go, I keep a tight fist around the fear of failing. A little less than ten years ago I signed on here, wrote a little blurb and after a few days, probably weeks I hit publish.   I shared this step toward conquering my fears with a sweet few. If I did share, I would sort of whisper it, in hopes no one would know what I was talking about. I didn't believe anyone would want to read anything I wrote; if they did, they for sure wouldn't take me serious.

This trip has never been about gaining a following, although I do appreciate each and everyone who visits, reads and stays. It was and is about stepping away from my safe place, facing a fear, taking a chance and finding my voice. And friends, you have allowed and encouraged me to try on many voices.

I guess, I might as well stop here and tell you, I have, once again, taken a deep breath and jumped.   Several months ago I was looking through our neighborhood magazine when I came upon an ad asking for writers, no experience necessary.  I folded the page down and put it away. Weeks later I found it, turned to the dog-eared page and stared at it. At dinner I told my husband about the ad and ask his thoughts.  I went through all my ifs and buts, the biggest being my lack of qualifications. He didn't hesitate to encourage me to submit something. Once again, I set it aside to ponder.

A few weeks ago, going through the mail I happened upon the January edition of the magazine. Flipping through, reading about new neighbors, family pets, well-kept yards and child athletes, I happened, once again, upon the ad asking for writers. This time I folded back the page and placed it by my computer.

A couple of weeks ago, after publishing my last post here, I wrote a letter to the contact person stating I would like to write about books, if this fit into their vision. I stated all the disclaimers I post here... I  am not a writer,  but I have a passion for reading and love sharing this passion. I wrote about my blog writing and my book talk on Instagram.  The letter was pitiful...no exaggeration.

I sent it!  If I could have retrieved it I would have, but it was gone.  I slowed the rising panic by assuring myself the letter would be read and quickly discarded.   The next Monday morning I checked my email and there waiting to be opened was a response saying my letter had been forwarded to the editor.

My blood pressure might have gone up a little.  Soon I had a very nice response from the editor saying they would like for me to write book reviews and perhaps help with other stories; would I like to write a book review for the March issue.  I said yes... what was I thinking?

My first review is finished.  It is due at the end of this week, but I will send it out tonight. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a bit nervous. I am not a brave person.  I am much more sensitive than I want to admit.  
This is not a whisper.

(I know this has been long. Sorry, I am a southerner; I can't say anything in 30 words or less.)

I am sharing this adventure with you, because I hope, if there is something you are wanting to do... please,  just take a deep breath, close your eyes and fly.  Yes, we may fall, but we will know we tried.  That alone is success, don't you think?

Hugs!

Friday Pondering

Happy Friday friends!

I hope you have had a grand week.  I have been spending a lot of time at school... at least it feels like it.  This is a busy time of year, with three major holidays back to back.  It is all good and a lot fun, though I am happy to have the afternoon off today.

Recently while catching up with my favorite blogs I happened upon a couple of writers addressing thoughts of closing down.  At least one mentioned  needing fresh inspiration.  It hit home.  I've posted a few times of my own struggles with my writing.  Needing "fresh inspiration"  put a face on my own endeavor to put something of substance worth sharing here on my pages.

Do you ever go back and read your past posts?  I think I've ask this question before.  Last night while searching for something I thought I had posted, I found myself reading back through  several months of posts.   As I read, I remembered the joy I found in writing, and hearing back from you.   As I revisited many of your comments I realized how much I learned through your kind and wise words.  Sometimes one must go back to go forward.

Though I continue to seek  that "fresh inspiration", I still feel this is a very happy place to be.   And, you are the ones who make it so. 

Sending you wishes for the best week-end ever!

Procrastinating

Fear of failure is a great road block. 

 Fear of ridicule is an even bigger hurdle. 

I more often than not find myself facing both. 

Failure...isn't so bad if you jump up, brush yourself off and get back on the horse that threw you.  Ridicule isn't so easy to overcome.  We all want to be liked.  We want to be appreciated for our talents and our efforts.  This fear is paralyzing.

When I am paralyzed, I find other things to do.  Not all are unproductive.  In other words
I am often the Queen of procrastination. 

I thought I would share a bit of what I found to do this week, instead...

Another closet cleaned.

School work up-to-date... almost.

Tested a Pinterest recipe and added my "best guacamole

in the world".

Photographed opened tulips

Harvested the last of the meyer lemons.

Photographed a lemon in my hand for
size comparison.

Baked a lemon and cream cake; had to begin using those lemons.

 More photos of tulips.

Have I ever mentioned, I love tulips?

Played around on Pinterest, and may have posted a few photos on 

instagram (livingbeeslife...just getting started).  

Picked up a book my daughter introduced to me.  I'm almost finished.  I

   love this book about tackling obstacles we allow to cloud our thoughts, and finding one's own unique creative voice.   Okay, it may also be about creating a home that is authentic to the way we live.  Work with me here please, I'm trying tie this into my subject; the interpretation of text is in the mind of the reader.    

On a positive writing note.... 

I did sign up for a writing webinar this past week.  I was so excited.  I downloaded the app needed, readied my notebook and pen, and prepped my husband to sign in for me.  I would be home from school just in time to slip behind the computer and participate.   I was feeling pretty pleased with myself.  This was a productive step in the right direction.  Then around three in the morning I woke with a "what were you thinking" moment.  I am in the central time zone, the webinar was to take place at noon eastern time.  There was no way I would be home.   There will be another....something ... sometime.

And, on a serious note...

A great big thanks to all who have encouraged me after my post on writing.  I honestly don't know where this desire, this love of words, will take me.  I ask God to lead me to a purpose and to quell my fears daily.  It is true, fear is probably one of my strongest enemies.  It is the reason I haven't shared my blog with many who are close to me.

You my friends lift me up; I am grateful,

and I am blessed.

Do you let fear get in your way of something important?
How do you get past it?
I would love to hear from you.