When my daughter was young, while waiting in carpool line at her school, I would place a kiss in the palm of her hand folding her fingers over it. I told her it was for "just in case" she needed a kiss. Many times I gave her more than one. Just before she jumped out of the car she would give me a kiss to get me through my day.
It was never even in the furthest corner of my mind it would be my last kiss to receive, or my last kiss I would ever give my child.
I did not hear of the unimaginable horror that unfolded in a small Connecticut town this morning until late this afternoon. It was in fact in the carpool line of the school where I teach I first heard of this tragedy.
As I drove home listening to accounts of all that transpired at the Connecticut elementary school memories of hand kisses and last minute I love yours came flooding over me and tears fell. The first thing I did when I got home
was to send my daughter, now grown, a text
"I love you".
Tonight
as a mother...
as a teacher...
My heart aches
Yes...
twenty children were lost today,
but I hurt because
of each single child and adult that was lost.
Will we ever have the answers we are all so desperately asking?
I'm fortunate that our older son arrived yesterday afternoon. I could hug him and hold him tight and talk. Our younger son has just landed at Midway and we're off to hug him and hold him tight. I cannot imagine the tragedy that occurred in that kindergarten classroom and around the school.
ReplyDeleteBest,
Bonnie
So very sad.
ReplyDeleteS
xo
I cannot believe, understand, comprehend such tragedy. I think we all are stunned. Unanswered why . . . of it all.
ReplyDeleteI love the thought of you kissing your daughters hand . . . Beautiful.
I used to be a kindergarten teacher and just to think of the little ones I used to teach brings such tears.
Thank you Bonnie for your sacred thoughts and words . . .
Tragic, beyond words, heart wrenching!
ReplyDeleteThe story of your kisses was lovely. But the tragedy that happened yesterday was unimaginable. I cannot imagine the void in these families' lives that will last forever. Keeping every one of them in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteOh Bonnie, my heart breaks. All I can see are all the little faces of the students in my school. God Bless them all and my the school find comfort and healing in the thoughts and prayers of a nation united in grief. Susan
ReplyDeleteYou have such a wonderful way of expressing how we all feel. I didn't hear about this tragedy until after I had sat in carpool line to pick up my three. It makes me so scared about sending them off to "big" school. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful, safe place for them at St. Mark's. John David told me yesterday afternoon when talking about heroes that Ms. Bonnie was his hero.
ReplyDeleteSarah, I am speechless and touched. JD is my hero as well. I love that he comes by to see me each morning. Hugs!
DeleteI never said how touching this entry was!
ReplyDeleteI have a feeling the phone lines were all jammed as we all wanted to reach out to our families after hearing about this horrible tragedy! It's unfortunate we are only human and will never know all of the answers, on the other hand we are human and can reach out when we see someone in need! What a touching thing to put a kiss in your daughter's palm, I feel sad for mother's like Mrs. Lanza that weren't able to show such love! A simple gesture as that could've saved her son and now many other souls. thank you for this touching post!
ReplyDeleteHello Bonnie
ReplyDeleteI wish I had words to console but alas no, I do not.
Joining you in prayer
Helen xx
Dear Bonnie - your post really touches my heart. I never had the wonderful priviledge of being a mother but as an aunt someone that has taught Bible School and mentored my heart too breaks - sometimes there are no words for this much sorrow. God Bless You - thanks for your sweet comments on my post.
ReplyDeleteV. Nice...
ReplyDelete