This has been a strange week. I've felt a bit restless, unable to focus. I have nothing to really point to, with certainty, as the cause. Monday was my first day back in school. The children couldn't have been more excited. In fact, it was an amazing week spent working and playing. Really we took it slow sliding back into our day-to-day routine. Even with rainy days (translated...no playground time) the children did remarkably well.
Here it is the new year and, honestly, I am feeling pretty much the same as I did in the old year. If you have been with me for a while you know my post Christmas visit to Seaside, Florida is when I recharge. It is by the water where I find the balance I need. The sound of the ocean speaks to my soul taking me to a peaceful place.
Usually I spend hours at the water's edge during the week after Christmas. I read...I write...I contemplate the last year, failures and successes, as Father Time and I celebrate another year's end and beginning together. Mostly I listen. I listen to the waves hitting the shore and find a solace I find in no other place.
I suppose you might say it is where my heart slows,
my brain stops churning
and I can hear.
This year I arrived not feeling up to par. With the weather windy, rainy and cold, the first full day I stayed pretty much inside. I walked to the grocery, the bookstore and around a bit but found as night approached I had yet to venture near the water. My only view had been enjoyed from our tower windows.
The next day, wanting to hear the waves I bundled up in muckers and a down-coat to walk the beach. I became chilled and returned to the confines of my tower.
I am often ask what the weather is like at the beach during winter. My usual answer is I never know. Some years we are wearing t-shirts and shorts. Some years we wrap up in coats, scarfs and hats. You just never know. No matter, I've never allowed the weather to keep me from enjoying my time near the water... this trip was just different. Everything seemed, not unenjoyable, just a bit unbalanced.
Being the perpetual optimist, I know the sun will rise,
the fog will clear, and
all will be back as it should be.
Or maybe....
I just need to return to the beach
and have a do over....
my brain stops churning
and I can hear.
This year I arrived not feeling up to par. With the weather windy, rainy and cold, the first full day I stayed pretty much inside. I walked to the grocery, the bookstore and around a bit but found as night approached I had yet to venture near the water. My only view had been enjoyed from our tower windows.
The next day, wanting to hear the waves I bundled up in muckers and a down-coat to walk the beach. I became chilled and returned to the confines of my tower.
I am often ask what the weather is like at the beach during winter. My usual answer is I never know. Some years we are wearing t-shirts and shorts. Some years we wrap up in coats, scarfs and hats. You just never know. No matter, I've never allowed the weather to keep me from enjoying my time near the water... this trip was just different. Everything seemed, not unenjoyable, just a bit unbalanced.
Being the perpetual optimist, I know the sun will rise,
the fog will clear, and
all will be back as it should be.
Or maybe....
I just need to return to the beach
and have a do over....
Anyone want to join me?
After reading above, I realize I must have met you in 2012 because it was the first time I learned of you visiting Florida after Christmas.
ReplyDeleteI hope you are feeling less foggy and more balance . . . and enjoying a good book!
Lynne, It has been my pleasure getting to know you. All will be well, and there is always a good book close be. I am reading Edith Wharton's "House of Mirth" at present for February's book group.
DeleteI've never been to Seaside but I have seen many photos and it looks so beautiful. I am sorry the weather did not cooperate. I'd say a do-over was definitely in order, perhaps in the spring when there is more of a chance of it being warmer.
ReplyDeleteLana, Seaside is quant and lovely. My favorite time there is in winter. There are far fewer folks; more time for quiet ponderings. And, the weather is most often more agreeable (I'm not fond of excessive heat).
DeleteHello Bonnie:
ReplyDeleteWe know exactly what you mean about the restorative powers of the sea. Just watching the waves, listening to the sounds of water crashing on the shoreline, this does help to restore balance in one's life and make the petty worries one has drift away. It is rather sad that you did not find such solace this year on your visit to the seaside. Sometimes, fog can be stubborn to clear....but it will. Yes, go down to the sea again, the sea again and see again!!!!
Jane and Lance, If I have not said it enough, it is so good to hear from you again. I know you will be off on another wonderful adventure soon, but will enjoy reading your posts between your travels.
DeleteYes, I shall return to the coast and most certainly the sea will be there to greet me.
This morning we woke to a red sunrise. A rosy glow that faded quickly to clear blue sky. I agree you may like to make Seaside plans for spring break to get your sea legs again. Good Sunday, Bonnie.
ReplyDeleteLynn, Your sunrise sounds beautiful! Living in the city I seldom see the sunrise. Seaside is a lot of fun during spring break, but very crowded and busy. I seldom find the time for quiet contemplation. With that said, we have talked about spending a few days there in the spring. I hope your weekend is going well. Bonnie
Deleteoooohhhh please, count me in!! do not leave without me!!
ReplyDeletewe had fog yesterday and today, a little bit of gloom and doom....but i have been focusing on some inside projects, organizing and cleaning. not as much fun as the beach but very rewarding.
beautiful images today!!
When shall we leave?
DeleteI'm never completely happy when I'm away from the sea. Sometimes when I return the circumscribed nature of the visit makes me anxious. I find I can't relax enough to let the soothing begin. If it were me I would go somewhere else, a forest, lake, whatever, a place where I have no expectations.
ReplyDeleteSusan, The sea has a mysterious almost hypnotic effect on me. This year I simply didn't have the chance to allow her to have her way. It would be wonderful to live near the water.
DeleteHmmm.... I know exactly what you mean about the end of 2012 being out of kilter, I hope that 2013 soon settles for you. Jx
ReplyDeleteJan, Thank you! I hope you are having a wonderful beginning to the new year.
DeleteOh so need a beach trip. Need to experience the peace that is present with the ebb and flow of the tide. thanks for sharing. My heart longs for this tranquility.
ReplyDeleteYes, Bonnie, I'd go to the sea any time to be restored, but get little chance. Here, Christmas holidays and summer coincide, so there's much splashing.
ReplyDeleteI do like the beach in winter - almost preferable - lots of silence, grandness, ordinariness, slowing-down-ness.
Restlessness and out-of-focus feeling are a prelude to greater certainty.
I am still trying to catch up on my blog reading after taking off a few weeks last month. I can understand your pensive mood as it has been a difficult time getting back to things as normal when I am not sure what normal is anymore. The waves though continue to splash onto the shore and then roll back into the sea as it always has but some things just don't seem to be the same.
ReplyDelete