Altered

I had wonderful plans for 2015.  I wanted to spend more time writing.  I've been researching creative writing classes.   I have a list of book to read much longer than anyone could ever conquer;  it continues to grow.  There is yarn collecting in the basket screaming to be turned into fabulous hats, sweaters and maybe a pair of mittens.  So many plans.....

Then things changed; my world has been slightly and temporarily altered.  My writing has fallen by the wayside.  I am so far behind in my reading I am getting notices reminding me of titles on my "to read list".   I can't remember when I've picked up the needles. These last few weeks I have spent my idle hours with  my daughter and Wyatt.  While my son-in-law is away training, my grandson and his mommy are staying with R. and me.  

It has been an adjustment for everyone.  

In every room there is evidence a baby is in the house.  There is a bit more laundry and a few extra trips to the grocery store.  Everyone pitches in making light work.   I have had to acknowledge there are now two moms, and I am in the supporting role.  This is not an easy task for the one who always wanted to be the mother in control.   The first week was a bit chaotic, however, we have slowly eased into a new normal.  

There have been a few sleepless nights...sleep can be overrated.

At night I wake each time the baby cries.  I lost the ability to sleep through an explosion, when his mother was an infant.  Some nights I lie awake hoping he will whimper, then I will know all is well.   I am reminded of the nights I would slip into my daughter's nursery and lay my hand on her back just to feel her breathing.

We have a few more weeks with our daughter and grandson.   Though I had hoped to return to posting routinely,  I will be in and out for awhile longer, as I am going to spend every possible minute enjoying my time with two of my favorite people.  Though my world has tilted a bit; I know when all is set back in order, the quiet will be deafening and the routine will seem a bit lonely.  Today I am here living life with a grateful heart.

Did I mention, there are two extra dogs as well?

Is It Too Late?

Is it too late to wish you a Happy New Year ?

I think not, and so, though late, I send you wishes for a wonderful 2015.

May it be filled with joy, love, and good health.

The end of 2014 sped by leaving me a bit dizzy.  I honestly finished decorating just hours before  our annual after Christmas Eve Mass party.  I kept it simple this year, truly making the evening about Christmas, family and good friends.

The day after Christmas we left on our annual trek to the oceanside where both my birthday and the new year were celebrated.   Yes, my birthday... 

This was one of those birthday's.   It was one of those "significant" birthdays.  The morning of my birthday I awoke before the sun feeling a bit anxious; I will admit, a bit down.  The morning of my fortieth birthday I awoke looking for new wrinkles.  Now twenty years later,  I no longer worry about wrinkles, instead I spend my time wondering about things "done and those left undone"... things both large and small.  I took a morning walk along the shore trying to reconcile where I've been and where I'm going.  I wonder if I have cared for others as much as I should.  Perhaps I've held grudges for wounds whose scars should have faded long ago.  Have I used my talents and time wisely, or have I allowed them to be swept away by the winds of time?  Have I listened well, or have I been too quick to speak?  Have I encouraged, or have I enabled?  Have I been honest and true to myself.  I don't think I will ever be able to answer any of these ponderings, at least not without bias.  Though the waves calmed my worried heart, an answer was not heard nor, I suspect, offered. 

The ocean is where I find my solace.   It is where my mind stops spinning and my heart slows.   She has handed out many wise teachings through the years...  There will always be ebb and flow.  There is nothing more promising than watching the sun rise, casting diamonds over the turquoise water; nothing more reverent than watching the sun gently fall behind the water before painting the sky with unimaginable color.  Bad things will occasionally wash up demanding attention and energy,  but sometimes, if vigilant and open, a treasure will be deposited at my feet.   Perhaps her greatest lesson is to always look toward the horizon where there are endless possibilities waiting.   I am no longer anxious about turning sixty, because this I did hear from my quiet tutor...

as long as there is movement...

it is never too late!

  

   

  

December 23rd...

Well, here it is the twenty-third of December.

I wish I were ready for the big day, but like Santa,
there is always much to do until the final reindeer is hooked up,
 and the sleigh takes off.

My list is made, my routes planned out
(I've been told I get a little stressed this time of year).
Somehow everything will get accomplished.  In the end,
if something falls through the cracks, it doesn't really matter...
It is Christmas!

AND,

my little elf is on his way!

Merry Christmas everyone!
May your Christmas be all you wish it to be.


Enjoy the music of the season.

Joyful, Joyful

1. 
   
   Joyful, joyful, we adore Thee,
   God of glory, Lord of love;
   Hearts unfold like flow’rs before Thee,
   Op’ning to the sun above.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   Melt the clouds of sin and sadness;
   Drive the dark of doubt away;
   Giver of immortal gladness,
   Fill us with the light of day!

All Thy works with joy surround Thee,

Earth and heav’n reflect Thy rays,

Stars and angels sing around Thee,

Center of unbroken praise.

1. 

   
   
   Field and forest, vale and mountain,
   Flow’ry meadow, flashing sea,
   Singing bird and flowing fountain
   Call us to rejoice in Thee.
   
   
2. 
   
   
   Thou art giving and forgiving,
   Ever blessing, ever blest,
   Wellspring of the joy of living,
   Ocean depth of happy rest!
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   Thou our Father, Christ our Brother,
   All who live in love are Thine;
   Teach us how to love each other,
   Lift us to the joy divine.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   Mortals, join the happy chorus,
   Which the morning stars began;
   Father love is reigning o’er us,
   Brother love binds man to man.
   
   
3. 
   
   
   Ever singing, march we onward,
   Victors in the midst of strife,
   Joyful music leads us Sunward
   In the triumph song of life.