From the Island...Aging

painting by my daughter

This morning catching up on everyone I spied an ad on the sidebar of a favorite blog about aging.  I will just be honest I usually block advertising out.  Now that I am wearing glasses (this aging thing) most of the time it isn't really that difficult.  The peripheral lens is a little blurred.  Well, for some reason this particular ad still caught my eye.   It was about how bloggers feel about aging.   They threw up a few emotional catch words...uncertain, angry, optimistic.  I think there might have been another, I can't remember.

As the clock ticks away I do think about aging, although I know there is little one can do about it.  The only year I began to dread was my 39th turning to 40.  We had just moved to Northern California, leaving everything we knew and loved for a new adventure.  Each day as the birthday drew nearer I assured myself it was really only a day and nothing would change.  I still remember waking that morning, laying in bed and thinking I felt the same as I did when I went to bed.  I quietly slipped out of bed; I wanted to be the first one to look at me just incase something dreadful had happened overnight.  As I suspiciously looked closely in the mirror, turning from one side to the other,  I came to the realization everything was exactly the same as the night before.  There were no winkles that appeared during my sleep.  My hair had not suddenly turned gray.  I had spent days wasting precious time worrying over something that would not change one thing in my life other than a number.  I had fretted over something I would never be able to control.

With this lesson learned I really try not to worry much about aging.   Don't get me wrong each year brings different frustrations...a few extra wrinkles, waning eyesight, pounds relocating...you get my point.  I just cannot use my time worrying about the passing hours or days.  I have no more control of time than I do of the weather.



I do however get to control how I use each moment given to me.  Rather than bemoaning the things that have passed me by or worrying over things to come, I am learning to take pleasure in and give thanksgiving for the small, the minute things that make me happy...morning solitude, birds splashing around in the birdbaths, hearing my husband coming through the door after being out of town, my lemon tree loaded with lemons.

Yesterday morning, while Roger was making breakfast, I took my coffee outside to look around.  I like to see what is going on in my backyard.  The air seemed a little lighter, the birds were singing, everything seemed a bit happier after our little sprinkle the day before.   When I went back inside my husband said,  "I wish I had been able to give you a kingdom to rule.  You looked so happy just standing there looking around your little backyard.  I could see you as Queen going out and checking on all your lands and subjects."  I had to silently laugh, because I was actually out giving thanks for my little piece of earth and all the little things in it.

It has been over a decade since I woke to look in the mirror at my forty year old face in search of something different.  I no longer worry.  I still have heartaches and things happen that scare me.  There will be things that will trip me and take me to my knees.  When my Dad was first diagnosed with cancer he said,  "This is life, you just have to walk the path put in front of you".  I choose, while walking my path to spend time stopping to look at everything and giving thanks for the small things.  The big things are going to find me.

gift from one of my bluebirds


 Aging?  
No matter the fretting, I can't stop it.
I can't stop bad things from happening.
But I can stop to enjoy each blessed little moment of pleasure.


What little things bring you joy?


Look around I know you will find more.