Monday, July 21, 2014

Going Back



 Do you ever go back and read your posts from the beginning of you blog?



This morning I had a subject in mind and thought I should probably go back and make sure I wouldn't totally be repeating myself.  It really is an entertaining exercise to browse through your own work,  to revisit what was important a few years ago.

Scrolling through several post I found pictures (many my own) mysteriously missing, big squares with a question mark taking their place.  In others,  pictures have been rotated.  I visited my photo bank to try to figure out what happened.  You know me, I wanted (needed) to correct it.   I still haven't a clue.  

A few (and I repeat a few) posts I read,  and thought "wow, did I really write that?"  Others
caused my cheeks to turn red.   One thing I realized, I believe I mentioned this a few weeks ago, I have ventured from my original course when I wrote from my heart. 

Anyway, I have been working on a post (not the one sending me to the archives) when what should appear before my searching eyes, but the perfect post from two years ago. 


The post was on perfection or the lack of.   I often describe myself as a perfectionist.  There is a misconceived notion the perfectionist believe they are perfect or can achieve perfection.  This is absolutely not true. Though we know perfection is unattainable we do have high expectations for ourselves, and when we fail to meet them we are heavy handed with self-criticism.  Often the inability to achieve perfection, making a mistake, or the fear of doing anything less can cause the perfectionist to shut down.  

 "Perfectionist" is not a description worn as a badge of honor.  It can be, in fact, painfully debilitating.  Is it something learned?  Or, are we just hardwired with the trait?  Who knows, probably a bit of both.  We smile and laugh at mistakes, but in silence they eat us alive.  I want to say we don't mind a mistake being brought to our attention; in some way this is true.  Don't think for a minute though we have the natural ability to just walk away and let it go.  We expect far more from ourselves than from others.  Please don't tell a perfectionist not to take criticism personally...it is personal...in our mind we have failed miserably.  

I wanted to revisit this subject now as the first day of school is quickly approaching for so many.  There are a lot of little (and big) perfectionists headed into the classroom.  Lets be gentle in correcting and teach our children, young and old,  doing one's best is the only perfection needed and... it is enough.   In the classroom, I try to point out my own mistakes.  This has actually helped me as well.  It is important that those who correct be willing to point out their own mistakes.  

"Physician, heal thyself"
I'm working on it!!!
I'm hitting publish and walking away...
                                                                                                                            I'm walking away.

I hope you are having a grand week!



8 comments:

  1. We are judged from the beginning of life and we react to other people's views of ourselves. Mostly, though, we are influenced by those we love and negativity from them affects us. Trying to prove our worth and be loved is a lifelong journey. Perfection can never be reached but it is necessary that we try our best.

    I seldom look at my old posts as some I like and others are God-awful and way too long. What I like though, is that I have evolved. At my age, that is a good thing.

    I am always in awe when I meet someone who exudes total confidence, then I realize that he/she is also pretending like us all. His/her act is just better than mine.

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  2. hehe...i was thinking "we've come a long way baby"!!! and i hope we always continue to grow!!

    i enjoyed this entry, i do read old entries because my blog is in book form and i often thumb through the books!!!

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  3. It really in an interesting exercise to go back and re-read posts. This really is a journal of sorts.

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  4. Bonnie - what a great post - the thought that doing one's best is all that is needed is the real cure for this concern. I am not sure I suffer from it but I know I really don't like making mistakes - it makes me question what is wrong with me and that is certainly not a good feeling. Growing older does help though because I think we find comfort in knowing that making a mistake really helps us grow spiritually and isn't that what life is really all about. Hope so because I have been making my share of them lately (LOL)! Hugs

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  5. I call myself a "frustrated perfectionist" who finally gave up trying. Now things don't bother me like they used to-about being perfect anyway.

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  6. Great post . . . I appreciated . . .
    "Hitting publish . . . walking away . . .
    Walking away . . ."

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  7. Hi Bonnie - going back is often much easier than going forward, don't you think?

    Hugs - Mary

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  8. Oh Bonnie, this is rich in so much. First of all, going back in our archives can be scary or a great lesson in how we all evolve. I believe that if we flinch at the reading of our past post and say, "HOw could I have written that", then we are on the right track. Without any notice of what we would do better now means no growth. I am currently learning to embrace those MISTAKES. I am concentrating this summer on two things: improving my poetry (which I never share on my blog) and my photography (which I just shared today). My dear poetry group is a very supportive place where mistakes are embraced to push us to use the tools we are learning are available to us as poets. We then start using them to dissect and repair our poems. Same thing goes for photography. Those mistakes are driving me to study other photos that I love to see what I am missing or what tools I can use to get the effect I want. Both poetry and photography are about effect (and much more), but we are the artist are in control once we learn how to use the tools, and let go of the notion that perfection just happens. Thank you so much for coming by and for having followed our link party! ENJOY! Anita

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